It-Traditur
[A finely uniformed English Official (A) enters followed by a Maltese Translator (B) in a shabby suit.]
A Good evening Malta – thank you ever so much for inviting me to give this speech and I promise that I will be brief, and to the point.
B Mela – bonswa Malta, grazzi talli stedintuh biex ikellimkhom, u jwiegħedkhom li ħa jkun qasir u ‘ppuntat.
A Being a former navy captain, I have a reputation for making all my journeys by ship.
B Huwa jħobb joqgħod jiġi bid-dgħajsa.
A And I daresay that Malta was no exception.
B U ‘llum beħsiebu li jagħmel l-istess.
A Now that I am finally here – about to start my speech – I find myself wildly enthusiastic to set off.
B Issa li sa fl-aħħar wasal, għandu l-ġenn biex jitlaq.
A But I am fully aware that my speech needs a translation.
B Iżda jaf li d-diskors tiegħu ħa jkollu bżonn traduzzjoni.
A And that is why according to the EU Constitution, I have brought along a translator.
B U għalhekk skond l-Unjoni Ewropea, ġab miegħu it-traditur. [He points at himself.]
A I would like to reassure you that Her Majesty the Queen will shortly be here – along with two of her trusty dogs of course.
B Jixtieq jgħidilkom li dalwaqt ġejja r-reġina ma żewġ klieb.
A And everyone is quite amazed at what a clever pair they are.
B U kulħadd mistagħaÄ¡eb x’par għandha.
A I would also like to start by apologising…
B Jixtieq jibda billi jgħidilkom sorry…
A Because as you all know, in the past few years, I have created several new positions within my department, and this has caused a lot of shifts.
B Għax bħal ma tafu, f’dawn l-aħħar snin, ivvinta ħafna posizzjonijiet Ä¡odda u dawn ikkaÄ¡unaw ħafna Ä‹aqliq.
A But now, although I feel bad about this, I’m afraid that there are some of these that I think I’m going to have to extract.
B Imm’ issa qed iħossu ħażin u jaħseb li se jaqla’.
A This is because there are some things that I need to remedy.
B Dan huwa peress li hemm ċerti affarijiet li għandu bżonn jirremettihom.
A I’m sorry to say, but I also believe that there are more problems in another department that is lower down than mine.
B Tgħidlu qalbu li għandu xi problemi wkoll fid-dipartiment t’hemm isfel.
A For some reason, it is no longer functioning as it should.
B Għal xi raÄ¡uni m’għadux jaħdem sew.
A However, I am now proud to report that things are finally looking up.
B Imma issa jista jgħidilkom b’wiÄ‹Ä‹u minn quddiem li kollox qed iħares ‘il fuq.
A I feel that as a body, my organisation is currently getting tougher…
B Huwa jħoss li Ä¡ismu bħal-issa qed jibbies…
A And that my mind is now set in stone.
B U li moħħu huwa stonejat.
A In fact, I am very much looking forward to the day when I will finally reveal all my plans to the general public.
B Fil-fatt, bilkemm jista jissaporti jistenna sa dak in-nhar meta sa fl-aħħar ikun jista jikxef kollox quddiem in-nies.
A But for now, I will give you one important message.
B Imma għalissa, ħa jagħtikhom messaġġ importanti.
A I will give you this message without beating about the bush.
B Dan il-mesaġġ ħa jtihulkom mingħajr ma joqgħod isawwat lill-president Amerikan.
A Remember that as Maltese, you are all pulling the same rope.
B Ftakru li bħala Maltin, inthom kollha qed tiġbdu l-istess ħabel.
A And as a religious nation, you have all the saints to help you.
B U bħala nazzjon reliġjuża, kull qaddis jgħinkom.
A I swear…
B Ħa jidgħi.
A That whenever I hear that you need my help…
B U malli jkun jaf li għandkom bżonn l-għajnuna tiegħu…
A I will start pulling that rope along with all the saints
B Ħa jaqbad jiġbed bil-qaddisin kollha.
A Thank you.
B Ta’ xej’ ħi.
Performed by Marc Spiteri and Malcolm Galea at Bla Kondixin 2005